Franciska Kohner Rader

Franciska Kohner Foldvari Rader

1921-2009

Franciska Kohner Foldvari Rader arrived in the United States via Camp Kilmer in January 1957. Born in 1921 and known as Nanni to family and friends, she spent her early years in considerable privilege and luxury. Her father was Baro Willy Kohner, the only son of Zsigmond Kohner, and cousin of Adolf Kohner. The Kohners were a well-known, large, and successful Jewish Hungarian family that Emperor Franz Joseph granted a baronial title in 1912.

Both Zsigmond and Adolf played prominent roles in Hungarian business and Jewish cultural life. Nanni’s father, Willy, was also a well known figure, but he was better known for his horse-racing skill, extravagant social life, and fondness for women rather than his business acumen.

However, by the time Nanni knew him, Willy’s antics were beginning to slow down, and he spent much of his time reading and taking care of the Kohner businesses in his home across the street from the Hungarian National Museum in Budapest that he shared with his third wife, and Nanni’s mother, Franciska Schmidt.

Until about age fifteen, Nanni and her younger sister Zsuzsanna (nicknamed Beby) lived a charmed, opulent life full of beautiful clothes, parties, nannies, tutors, and travel. Raised primarily by German nannies, Nanni and Beby typically saw their parents only briefly in the morning and again before dinner, but they always knew their parents loved and adored them. Nanni was particularly close to her father, and when she reached her early teens, they sometimes sat in his study in the evening and discussed politics, religion, and philosophy. Later in life, Nanni credited these conversations with sparking her lifelong interest in Judaism and politics.

Nanni has been named after her mother. Franciska Schmidt was Catholic and much younger than her husband. The family story was that they met at the Kohner Bank. Franciska was a secretary at the Kohner Bank. Willy supposedly fell in love with her the minute he saw her. Nanni learned much later on that, in fact, Willy was still married to his Jewish second wife when he met Franciska. In fact, he stayed married to her well after both Nanni and Beby were born. As a result, Willy paid a Catholic man to put his name on both their birth certificates. This act would prove very fortuitous later on.

Willy’s second wife lived in a lovely villa near City Park, and Franciska and her two daughters lived in an elegant townhouse on Muzeum Utca. It’s not known how much Nanni ever knew about her father’s wife across town. Eventually Willy divorced his second wife and married Franciska. He officially “adopted” his own daughters, but Willy’s name was never put on their birth certificates.

Nanni and her sister attended the Sacré Coeur School for Girls in Mikszáth Kálmán tér. Most of the girls boarded, but Nanni and Beby did not. Nanni strongly disliked the school and chafed at the nuns' rules and restrictions. She always felt different from the other girls. More attuned to her father’s family’s religion than her sister was, she often felt the sting of antisemitism at school. Still, she was generally sheltered from the worst of it due to living at home and her family’s wealth and stature.

However, as the horrors of World War II got closer and closer to Budapest, it became impossible for Nanni and her family to avoid the increasingly hostile antisemitism that was growing around them. Willy died in 1943 from heart failure, and Nanni always said it was actually from a broken heart. The stress of the war and the intense pressure on Hungary’s Jewish community became too much for him to bear.

Nanni graduated from the Sacré Coeur and enrolled at Eötvös Loránd University in Egyetem tér to study economics. On her first day of school, in a large lecture hall, the professor started calling out students’ names to take attendance. When the professor called out Nanni’s last name, Kohner, her fellow students roared in protest. They all began to shout, “Kohner out, Kohner, out!” Eventually they picked her up, carried her out of the lecture hall, and threw her onto the steps of the building. She never returned.

Nanni rarely shared much detail about this time of her life. She often told others about her first day of college, but when directly asked about other events in 1944, she shared only bits and pieces, and even then it was difficult for her. She once told the story of the Arrow Cross coming to the house and attempting to take her and her sister to the Jewish Ghetto. Somehow her mother convinced the soldiers to spare them, but she never shared how.

As horrible as that experience was, Nanni and Beby were luckier than most of the relatives on their father’s side. Although Nanni and Bebe were well-known members of the Jewish Kohner family, because their birth certificates officially listed them as Catholic, the Nazis and Arrow Cross were never able to fully persecute them. Nanni volunteered with the International Red Cross and delivered food to the Jewish Ghetto. Some of her aunts and cousins were being held in the ghetto, and she would try to find them and give them extra bits of sugar and lard when she could. Eventually, the Red Cross told her it was too dangerous for her to keep volunteering, and in October 1944, she was forced to stop.

Nanni, Beby, and their mother decided to leave their home in Pest and relocate to their “country home” in the Buda Hills. They felt it would be safer than living in the city since there were relentless bombings and Arrow Cross raids. By then, Beby was married and very pregnant. The three women and Bebe’s husband moved to their villa on Budakeszi Ut.

The Muszeum Utca home became a Wallenberg Safe House, briefly sheltering the famous Hungarian writer Szep Erno and his sister Anna. Always moving from one location to another, Wallenberg himself used the townhouse’s garage to occasionally hide his car. Nanni was always extremely proud that her family played a small role in saving her fellow Jewish Budapest citizens.

While Nanni and her family were certainly safer in their Buda home from the constant air raids and bombing threats, it did not save them from other violence. By December 1944, Soviet and German forces were locked in a fierce battle across greater Budapest, as World War II entered its final, brutal months. On Christmas Eve, Russian troops arrived at the door of their Buda home. Known for their incredible brutality, the soldiers broke down the door, smashed the furniture, and forced all the women in the house into one room, and the few men remaining in the home into another. They brutally gang raped Nanni, her middle aged mother, the few female servants who still worked in the villa, and the very pregnant Beby.

Only a few days later, Beby went into labor. The winter of 1944 was one of the coldest on record in Budapest, and on this day, it was 23 degrees Fahrenheit. Nanni, Beby, and Beby’s husband walked in the cold in an attempt to find a hospital. They eventually found an abandoned sanatorium for children with lung disease. Although it wasn't a hospital, they sheltered in the basement, hoping for at least some medical support. There was none, but they found a few other women also in various stages of labor. The women helped each other, and eventually Beby’s son was born.

By mid February 1945, the Siege of Budapest finally ended, and the Russians were fully in charge of the city. The residents were exhausted, defeated, and quietly bracing for whatever came next. Nanni came back to the Buda villa one day and announced she had married an acquaintance named Miklos Foldvari. She moved in with him and his family, and soon afterward they rented a small apartment on Vaci Utca.

To support themselves, Nanni, her mother, and her sister decide to rent out the Buda villa to foreign diplomats and politicians living in Budapest to help with the city’s post-war rehabilitation. The Muzeum Utca house was uninhabitable due to bombings during the Siege. Franciska, Beby, and her son and husband move into the former gardener’s house behind the villa. The sisters both became friendly with the villa's residents and attended many parties in their former home, but now as guests instead of hosts.

Although many former Budapest aristocrats were deported to the Hungarian countryside to perform manual labor as punishment for their lineage, they somehow escaped this fate. Nanni took on a variety of jobs, such as chauffeur and language teacher. However, once they discovered she was a former baroness, they always immediately removed her from the job.

In December 1948, Beby had the opportunity to leave Budapest with her young son. The Communists were cracking down even harder, and the sisters felt that if the next generation was to have any chance of meaningful survival, Beby and her son needed to leave. Beby divorced her husband. With help from the Turkish Ambassador to Hungary at the time, they hid in a diplomatic car, crossed the border into Austria, and made their way from Vienna to Paris, and eventually to the United States.

Nanni stayed behind to care for their now-ailing mother. Soon after Beby and her son left, the Communists began nationalization. Both the Muzeum Utca home and the Buda villa were taken over by the Communists. Nanni, also now divorced from her husband, lived with her mother in a Pest apartment until Franciska’s death in 1951. Nanni continued to support herself with small jobs, but stayed in contact with the loose circle of former aristocrats, activists, and foreigners who were secretly attempting to overthrow the Communist government.

Then the 1956 revolution came. Nanni was ecstatic, but also scared. Like most other Budapest residents, she hoped that this was the sea change that Hungarians had been waiting for. On October 28th, 1956, the newly appointed prime minister, Imre Nagy, announced an impending ceasefire with the Soviets. Finally, there was some hope.

On November 2nd, Nanni was invited to breakfast at a hotel in downtown Budapest by a woman named Stiva, who was the wife of a journalist who was friends with Beby’s now husband. When in Paris, Beby met and married an American reporter from U.S. News and World Report. Nanni knew the woman only slightly, but she was happy to accept the invitation. Stiva would certainly have some insights into the ceasefire and Hungary’s withdrawal from the Warsaw Pact.

It was a brisk morning, and Nanni hurried to the hotel’s restaurant. For the past thirteen days, the Hungarians had been valiantly fighting against the Russians. This particular morning, both the city and Nanni felt surprisingly quiet and hopeful. Nanni kissed Stivia on both cheeks and then sat down at the breakfast table.

Stiva responded with a surprisingly chilly greeting. She looked at Nanni and whispered, “Drink your coffee and smile. But you must leave today. The Russians are returning.” After years under Communist rule, Nanni had become quite adept at pretending in public. She began nibbling at a piece of bread, and then slowly took another sip of her coffee. She asked, “Today?” and Stiva silently nodded yes. For the rest of breakfast, they made careful small talk about the city and shared acquaintances. Once enough time had passed that it wouldn’t look suspicious if Nanni left the breakfast date too early, Nanni gave Stiva a tense smile, a thank you, and walked out.

Nanni went back to her apartment, put on two sweaters, three pairs of underwear, her warmest boots, and her coat. If she brought anything else, she would look suspicious, and people would ask her questions she didn’t want to answer. Only a few hours beforehand, she had felt more relaxed and happy than she had in years. She didn’t know Stiva very well, but she trusted her. Nanni then walked to the Keleti train station and, once there, looked for any trains leaving for towns near the Austrian border. She purchased a ticket and waited for the next train going west.

Nanni never talked much about what happened after that. She mentioned an Austrian soldier who helped her cross the border, but nothing else.

Nanni arrived at Camp Kilmer via a Flying Tiger flight from Vienna. Since Beby met her there and sponsored her, Nanni spent only a short time at the camp. She stayed at Beby’s New York City apartment, sharing a sofa bed with Beby’s son when he was home from his new Hungarian boarding school in Pennsylvania.

Nanni and Beby soon decided to enroll together at the Parsons School of Design. They knew they both needed to support themselves. Beby’s husband made a decent salary, but both sisters wanted to make sure they could take care of themselves if needed.

Nanni eventually found her own apartment and a part-time job at a men’s clothing store. Her knowledge of fine fabrics, art history, and excellent European taste quickly made her a success at both Parsons and at work.

One day Nanni rented a car and drove to Montreal to visit one of Willy’s sisters, who was now living in Montreal, Canada. She also left Hungary during the 1956 Revolution. On the way back home, Nanni got in a car accident. The other driver accused her of causing the accident, and she needed a lawyer. A Hungarian friend suggested she meet with a lawyer named Irving Rader. Irving was a Jewish man who grew up in Brooklyn, New York, and had gone to Columbia University on the GI Bill.

As soon as Nanni met Irving, she knew she would marry him. He reminded her of all the best qualities of her father: intellectual, interested in politics, and justice. And he was Jewish. Nanni felt it was very important that if she married again, it would be to a Jewish man. She was so certain that soon after she arrived in the United States, she began the process of converting to Judaism. She had always felt connected to her Jewish roots, and now she could fully embrace them.

Six months after their first meeting, Nanni and Irving were married. They moved into a small but elegant Upper East Side apartment. Nanni took a job at the department store Lord and Taylor. She was placed in the gift department due to her infinite knowledge of china, glass, and all things “fancy.” She worked there for almost 25 years, and she and Irving lived in that same apartment for the rest of their lives. Nanni and Irving built a pleasant, comfortable, and predictable life together. Every Sunday they went out for brunch and walked Fifth Avenue, and every Friday night they went to their favorite restaurant, the Post House, a classic New York steakhouse.

Nanni was a proud American. She got her US citizenship as soon as she could, and she made sure to vote in every election, including the smallest and non-contested ones. She read the New York Times every day and stayed up to date on everything from the newest, trendiest restaurant in New York to the best plays on Broadway. She loved New York, her husband, and her quiet but satisfying life. One might guess that all the trauma and displacement Nanni experienced before she arrived in New York made her particularly appreciate this safe and routine life.

One day in the early 1990s, Nanni’s “Cousin Tommi” came over to her apartment for dinner. Tommi was the son of one of Nanni and Beby’s mother’s sisters. He also left Hungary in 1956. He was an extremely talented fashion designer, but according to Nanni, his snobbery and stupidity kept him from succeeding at the level his talent should have allowed.

After a few too many drinks, Tommi looked around the small New York City apartment, waved his hand dismissively, and said to Nanni, “Your parents would be rolling in their graves if they saw how you are living now.” Nanni’s face turned beet red. She quickly stood up and demanded that Tommi leave her apartment at once. She never saw him again and spoke to him only once on the phone.

In fact, Nanni was quite sure her parents would actually be very proud of her, especially her father. She had survived World War II, the Communist takeover of Hungary, sacrificed freedom to take care of her mother, and eventually risked everything again to come to the United States and make a new and satisfying life for herself.

Beby and Nanni remained close for the rest of their lives. Although they were always very different, their shared experiences bonded them in a way they could not with anyone else. Nanni died in her sleep at age 88 in 2009. Beby died in 1984, and Beby’s son died in 2003. Nanni is survived by two great-nieces, the daughters of Beby’s son.